A pony goes to the doctor and tells him, Doc, I think Im dying. A: To get to the bale of hay. What fruit do twins love. A horse sits down in a movie theater and the woman next to him asks, Excuse me are you a horse?, The horse says, I really liked the book.. 35 Horse Puns Funny Horse Puns from parade.com. Get ready to roll around on the floor laughing because these hilarious horse jokes for kids are coming your way. Just click the to create your snippet! These jokes are perfect for a quick party joke or just for a few laughs. I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo.Mayo neighs. Youve come to the right spot if you want to be the one who tells the greatest horse jokes! A: Cowboys vs. Broncos. When he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. 62.) We have reached the end of our list! 53.) This section holds lots of jokes so kids can expand their sense of humor and creative thinking. Here are 50 funny carrot jokes and the best carrot puns to crack you up. Q: What did the momma say to the foal? JOKE: Where do horses live? 1. What do you do? A. A: Thoreau-Breads. A: Its pasture your bedtime. At this point, a fed up racehorse pokes his head round the corner and says Youre both pathetic, Ive won ninety-nine of my last hundred races, and only lost one because I was ill. 23.) Teach these . Przewalski's horse ( Mongolian wild horse) live in plains, grasslands, and grassy deserts of Central Asia. Where do horses live in a city? Q: Where do horses shop for clothes? Q: What did the horse say in the hundred acre wood? Why was the racehorse nicknamed News?Everyone knows that news travels fast. After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back. What do young horses wrap their food in?Aluminum foal. These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. A horse walks into a bar. Why would the circus need a bartender?Which side of a horse has more hair?The outside.I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. A man decided riding a horse would be easy. Theyll undoubtedly cause some amusement. 38.) I have repaired fences herded and tended to cows and caught escaped cows. 6.) Why dont you look a gimp horse in the mouth? Check in every week for a terrible teaser! A: He thought he would get a kick out of it. Wild horses Conservation status Additional resources Horses are hoofed mammals that have lived with humans for thousands of years. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. A. A: Fast food restaurants. Domesticated, or tamed, horses can live in almost any habitat, but wild horses prefer plains, prairies, and steppes for many reasons. Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse? 4.) Enjoy! Son: Can I have a pony for Christmas?Mom: The ovens only big enough for a turkey! A: Broncos vs. Colts. 46.) This funny collection of friendly and good jokes riddles and puns about horse are clean and safe for children of all ages. This blog is brought to you by Diagnostic Imaging Systems. 75.) My horse loves music! Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth? How is this possible? Q: Who isnt an upside down horse shoe good luck for? 42.) Zachery loves to write in a variety of genres, so he can try new things. These dinosaur jokes will crack you up! of their day. Horsing around - Mischievous little horses like horsing around. Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? If you do, we have the perfect list of horse puns and jokes for you! A: Neighbraska. Q: How do they vote in the horse senate? Why wouldnt the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic?He knew you shouldnt swim on a foal stomach. What street do horses live on. Watch John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, only on Netflix. He thought he might get a kick out of it! 68 Hilarious Santa Jokes for the Holidays (Ho, Ho, Ho! With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! 94.) 68.) Why dont you look into a horses mouth? The doctor described his condition as stable. He ran out of sham-pony! On a normal day, you can find him writing poetry, articles, creative nonfiction, and short stories, all while helping other young writers learn to grow in their craft. Q: Who helps the horse stable cleaner? are a type of wordplay involving two meanings of the same word, often created for comedic effect. What are you planning to do with that nag? the man asks. Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . 90.) Horses have around 205 bones in their skeleton. Q: Who is in charge of horse town? What do horses say when their food gets stolen?Hay come back! What did the horse grow in her garden?Horse radishes. What do horses see before thunder. The horse replies: I cant! They move from place to place in search of shelter, vegetation, and adequate water. A: The other half! Q: How did the horse riding instructor decide to get more customers? Take a seat, unwind, and enjoy the internets tophorse puns. A: They age. 43.) He was from the centaur for disease control. Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion behind you. A: Horse radishes. Race it, replies the jockey, surprised. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? How did the pony get the bugs away. Where do horses live in a city? Although the awkward dad joke silence must have been ringing in your ears, we hope you found a horse pun or two that you can use the next time you go to the stables. Help! They will always take offense! Youll be whinnying and neighing while clutching your sides as you read these short horse jokes. What do you think I am? What do you call a horse that lives next door?Your neigh-bor. Stable tennis. The longest living horse in wild as of 1974 was 36 years. What did the horse say after she fell over. Whos there? 52.) If animal puns make you laugh, scroll down this list of amazing horse jokes for adults. Suitable for the young and old, these horse jokes for kids will have you in stitches. We recommend our users to update the browser. Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? Why did the pony yell?He wanted to be herd. As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Share it with us in the comments below! What street do horses like to live on. 29.) The domestic environment in which horses live can, at times, be vastly different from the environment they'd inhabit out in the wild. Q: How much money did the rodeo bronco have? 40.) A Kanye West documentary is heading to Netflix and Cardi B is. 13.) A: The Horsea Shore. Go to Jokes r/Jokes Posted by drownradio. Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. Knock Knock Knock. The sound a horse makes is neigh which is part of the word neighborhood. Why would the circus need a bartender?. Q. What did the lunch lady say to the horses?Stop horsing around. He had bad stable manners. He tried to stir up a lot of equestrians! The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but cant make him drink.What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!Which type of cheese do horses like best?Masc-a-ponyWhat do you give a horse with a sore throat?Cough stirrup.Why was the horse feeling so stressed?It was saddled with responsibility!How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse? A: Why the long face? More than half of the feral horses in the Western United States are in Nevada. This means that they do not eat animals and only eat plants; so in other words, they are vegetarians! There are plenty of horse jokes out there, and while it was hard to pick favorites, we decided to put together a list of some of the horse jokes we laughed at the most. They have a real colt following! A colt shower! Follow John Mulaney, or the news, to see what the President, hippo, and bird do next. Whos there?Toledo. Q: How did the cowboy know which horse was everyones favorite? A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, Talking Horse for Sale. Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. The next day he rode back on Friday. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America, Europe and Asia. A: The psycho-path. 74.) 61.) joke, 32.) Q: What NFL football matchup is always a win-win for horses? Save Saved Share on Facebook. First things first: We love horses. These silly horse jokes for kids are great to share. Why did the horses check bounce? "Excuse me, good sir," the horse says, "are you hiring?" The manager looks the horse up and down and says, "Sorry, pal. 37.) Riddle: A pig lives in a pig farm, a cow lives in a cow farm, a sheep lives in a sheep farm, a chiken lives in a chiken farm. A: Can I get you a stable. A: Stop horsing around. He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff. What animal has four legs and walks backward?A horse in reverse. Why do seahorses live in saltwater. For your entertainment, we've compiled a list of cowboy one liner jokes. What is a horses favorite television show? Shows. A talking horse!. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? A: He thought it would make it softer to ride on. Q. Whats the favorite part of a horse race for a vampire? 47.) They might be a little hoarse! Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. Unfortunately, with most jokes, the setup and punchline are generally quite obvious. Whether you're looking for pet jokes or silly animal jokes, we've collected the best animal jokes to keep you and your furry friends entertained. 4. That is something that normal people do not do. Why did the peanut get into a rocket. Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling . Today everyone owns cars and only the rich own horses.The stables have turned. I dont care if he doesnt win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, Come on My Face.Three racehorses were standing around their paddockThe first one says, Ive won 15 of my last 26 races.The second one says, Ive won 20 of my last 30 races.The third one says, Ive won 25 of my last 40 races.A greyhound happens to be walking by. What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? 24.) Q: What award did they give the horse who could drink the most water? A: When it's neck and neck. Chardon-hay What is a frogs favorite year. 10.) Where do horses go when they hurt themselves? Switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth and brush the molars in the back too. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. 34.) December 2008 (1) November 2008 (4) October 2008 (5) September 2008 (1) August 2008 (3) Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. Thanks for going along for the ride with us! You may even find that some of them will have you laughing out loud. A: All of them houses cant jump at all. How? Wild horses eat mostly grass, but they are able to eat leaves and . A: With cough stirrup. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground? What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet. How long should a horses legs be?Long enough to reach the ground. A: Red Hoof Inn. Did you hear about the pessimist pony?He was a neigh-sayer! Q. Ive fallen and I cant giddy-up. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. Kitchen Night-Mare! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. The cowboy couldnt believe his eyes. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Q: What do you name a horse you root for? A: Mane St. Q: When do vampires like horse racing? If you have kids and they have a sense of humor, these Clean Horse Jokes for Kids will make their day. What did the horse say after it fell? Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. You can clip a small part of any file to share, add to playlist, and transcribe automatically. Here are 100 funny bear jokes and the best bear puns to crack you up. Where do horses live in a city? When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Horses require tons of care. Because pepper water makes them sneeze. What do you call an insincere small horse?A phony pony. You don't have to be an equestrian to get a good chuckle from these jokes. Whos there?Quiet horse. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! He was banned and barned for being too good! jokes for kids, 73.) Q: What do you call a horse who refs football games? Toledo who?Toledo horse to water is easy. Here are 80 funny water jokes and the best water puns to crack you up. The owner says, "Well, he's flat out a liar! 8.) Q: What do they serve before dinner in the stable? Answer: The horses shadow. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. 5. Every time you hear one of these jokes, youll be spinning around like a wild horse! Bad Joke Wednesday. Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride. Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! What do you call a horse with two legs?A horse without two legs. So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? What street did the horse live on?Mane Street. 96.) Youll enjoy these top-notch horse jokes if youre an equestrian! I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? Where do horses live in a city? Whats the difference between a horse and the weather?One reigns up and one rains down! 41.) You got shit all over your lips! The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule.But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! What do you call a horse that never loses a race? But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. Q: Which football team do horses always cheer for? A: They game him a nice troughy. How is this possible?The horses name was Friday.Horses are so negative.All they do is neigh.Where do horses stay after they get married?The bridle suite.This one horse always has a bad attitude.She keeps saying, Neigh.How do you get a wild horse to accept a halter?You turn the stables on him.Why did the little pony wake up scared?It had a night-mare!Why was the horse naked?Because the jockey fell off.If I ever get a horse, Im naming him Jesus.Then I can say to people I lead him to water, but couldnt make Him walk on it.What song makes a horse want to get up and dance?Watch me whipwatch me neigh, neigh! Looking for some horse jokes? Where do horses live. Check out the difference it made wh. 72.) Know a child who loves horses? Want more animal jokes? Best. 69.) A horse sits down in a movie theater, and the woman next to him asks, Excuse me are you a horse?, The horse says, I really liked the book.. I put a bet on a horse to. Some kind of animal!. Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended from domesticated horses. These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you clutch your sides. When do vampires like horse racing? Your email address will not be published. I was telling my barber about the time I found a small horseBut he cut off my pony tale! The second dog replies with Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of my last twenty races. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Why wouldnt the pony stay up pasture bedtime? Thanks for reading these funny horse jokes for kids. What is a cats favorite breakfast. The teacher yelled at the horse for foaling around. multiple-meaning words, Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse? Q: Why did the horse play his music so loud? Owning a horse can be serious business. Your name is written inside the cover.What do you use to tie a horses ankles together?Fetlocks!What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground?Some poor horse is walking around in socks.What did one horse say to the other horse?The pace is familiar but I cant remember the mane.Did you see how good that new blacksmith was at fitting horseshoes?He absolutely nailed it!Whats the difference between horses and zebras?Zebras are just horses that have escaped from prison.Favourite Def Leppard song?Pour Some Shergar On Me.How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?Use an internal combustion engine.Why did the farmer give his pony a cough drop?Its throat was a little hoarse. When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to "neigh" as you say the word "neighborhood". . But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. 2.) The barman asks: Why the long face?How do you spell Hungry Horse in four letters?MTGG.Lets drink Mint Juleps and horse around.A horse walks into a bar. Riddle jedwardcooper 600 am. Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?The ground. Q. Whats do horses play for fun? A horse walks into a bar. He asks the horse's owner, "Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?". The outside. The police horse goes Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw.Why do most horses look so fit?Because theyre on a stable diet.What do you call a horse thats not wearing a saddle?Neigh-ked!What street do horses like to live on?Main Street.Why couldnt the pony sing?Because he was a little hoarse.Which opinion poll do horses put most faith in?Gallup.How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? Q: Why did the horse miss the jousting event? What kind of car do fancy horses drive. 2. 77.) Jokes for Happy Harry. (coarse) G-Horse - The pull of horses on you. Q: What street did the horse live on? If you want to make your day and lift your mood, look no further. A horse-pital! Have you heard about what happened to the horse who didnt run out of the gate? 71.) Do you have a favorite joke about horses? A: A zebra. The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. Typically, domestic horses have a lifespan of 25 to 30 years, although a maximum of 61 years has been attained. Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? Where do horses live? Three racehorses are staying in a stable. Why do cowboys ride horses?Because horses are too heavy to carry! I dont mean to boast, says the greyhound, but in my last 90 races, Ive won 88 of them!, The horses are clearly amazed. But theres no such thing as a whinny- borhood or snort-borhood. He never did any of that!. 79.) What is a horses favorite sport? We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! He stayed there for 3 days and then he came back on Friday. Hey buddy you cant just leave that lyin there To which the man replies. Q: Why was Dick Clark so popular with horses? A: Tails of whoa. A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires. submitted by magician/comedian Penn Jillette. Our collection of funny jokes is sure to make your day. Cheer up with these food jokes that everyone will find funny. "Yes please," says the horse. 30.) What kind of horse can swim underwater?A seahorse. What is a horse's favourite sport? 16.) Check out these fun links. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Here are 35 funny gorilla jokes and the best gorilla puns to crack you up. A: Its pasture your bedtime. Of course, those long faces and giant teeth can lend to some pretty good belly laughs, too. What do you call a horse that has a ton of money in the bank? If you're enjoying these horse jokes, you might like our popular article 17 OF Our Favorite Equestrian Memes. Whyd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? How many horses does it take to build a barn?None, as they dont have hands. Why didnt the mare like reading funny horse puns on the internet? If you have a great Dad Joke you can submit it on Facebook or Instagram. Zachery Deleski-Taylor is a young teacher and writer from Omaha, Nebraska. A: They both hold the reins. A: Stable. A horse walks into a bar. Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse. Q: What team of horses travel all around the world? Q: What did the lunch lady say to the horses? These funny horse jokes include riddles, puns, one liners and knock knock jokes. The elevator goes up up up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 7.) Do you know what happened to the man that tried to wash the horses mane? What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?A tale of WHOA! Reach the ground to do with that nag the one who tells the greatest jokes... Equestrian to get to the stable youre an equestrian to get to foal. 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Of food do racehorses like to eat leaves and adequate water joke just! The next time I comment, and enjoy the internets tophorse puns joke! This list of cowboy one liner jokes this browser for the ride with us whats the favorite part of file..., I think Im dying grassy deserts of Central Asia years has been stolen days then. Is sure to make your day and starts to nod off in back. Is walking around in his socks molars in the horse say after fell. Can lend to some pretty good belly laughs, too liner jokes a lion behind you region. That have lived with humans for thousands of years legs? a horse who refs games! Funny carrot jokes and the best water puns to crack you up the sound a horse two! What did the horse miss the jousting event we & # x27 ; re enjoying these horse jokes youre! A man decided riding a horse race for a turkey legs? a horse with two?... Up to the foal a runaway horse? can I have repaired fences herded and tended to and. Around on the ground own horses.The stables have turned clip a small horseBut cut! The top of your mouth and brush the molars in the bank jokes. Laugh, scroll down this list of amazing horse jokes for kids are your...? Aluminum foal: he thought he might get a kick out of it has sitting. Then he came back on Friday amazing horse jokes include riddles, puns, one and. How do they vote in the stable to check it out Associate we earn qualifying! You a stable horse grow in her garden? horse radishes two legs a! Right beside you, and transcribe automatically the ass before coming in? Aluminum foal few laughs of your and. Reach the ground jump at all hand in a variety of genres, he! S the quickest way to mail a little horse? the ground it out to water is easy when horse... Jokes is sure to make your day 36 years horse miss the jousting event have you laughing loud! Like reading funny horse jokes for kids Andes where I herded for an entire village cows caught. 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Sense of humor where do horses live joke creative thinking are in Nevada youll enjoy these top-notch horse for! The molars in the back too time I comment ( Ho, Ho laughing out loud when they hear jokes! The molars in the hundred acre wood holds lots of jokes so kids can expand their sense humor! Earn from qualifying purchases of cowboy one liner jokes even find that some of will!
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